Whats your status?

Since its launch, Google Talk has been spreading like a virus among internet users, making Gtalk status messages the new fad. I don't have problems with the concept of status messages, in fact I have no problems with any other form of expressing yourself, be it t shirt quotes, or even body arts. Its just that the chat buffs are taking it to the next level. I thought it would be unfair to not share it with the rest of the world and if possible stop the insanity from spreading in the act. Here's how I read some of these 'status' messages:

I'm so mysterious: These are donned by totally jobless people who need other jobless people to talk to. So they come up with shitty meaningless status messages which raise serious doubts about their sanity and force you to ping them and find out. After uncovering enough shit hidden beneath these status messages, you'd rather let them carry the mystery to their grave.

I got attitude: These are from people who think they can develop, or at least portray an attitude to us lesser mortals, just by putting up a fancy one liner as their status message. Some of these half-witted, imbecile freaks go to the extent of searching one-liners on the web. WTF!

I am the reason: These are the people who like to live a parallel life on the internet. They are online 24x365. They probably have a misconception that their staying online is the sole reason why Gtalk is surviving and hence they come up with status messages like "Zzzzzz...." or "not at my desk" or "out for lunch" or some shit like that. I don't know and don't want to know why people stay online while asleep or eating or whatever the fuck they are doing while they are away from the computer. No matter what the reason is, I declare it absolutely irrational even before someone tells me. Why the fuck do thye have offline messages at all?

I am Red: I've seen enough sports fanatics, but the Man-U fans always catch my attention with their overblown status messages during every season with the Reds' logo in their display pictures. These messages frequently consist of some bombastic remark meant to humiliate fans of other clubs (read Chelsea). They are so fuckin obsessed, they will even lick a baboon's ass to exhibit their love for the Reds.

Luckily there are a few normal people (blessed souls) who keep status messages which actually tell their status (like 'available' or 'busy' or 'DND' or the song thats playing). Some others keep some interesting links or anything good that happened in their life recently. Then there are literature lovers who balance the shit with some nice enlightening quotes from great philosophers and writers. God ain't that unfair after all...