How I Met Yappy...

It had been a good day and I was waiting at the platform for the train when a gentleman approached me and attempted to start a conversation. Realizing I have another hour to pass, I gave a friendly response to his inquisition. This later turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I had shown a matchstick to a fireworks factory. I had unknowingly unleashed one of the longest tongues in the history of mankind. From then on, Yappy (I will hereon refer to him with this name as I didn't know his name at this point) did most of the talking. I spoke a little for the first few minutes, but then realized the guy needed no responses to talk and realized I was in big trouble. So I just played with my cellphone, texted friends, checked my mail, checked out the hot middle-aged-woman in the red saree for several minutes until she noticed me, while he revealed enough information about himself to prepare a fully detailed resume, even give another an interview on his behalf.

I let out a deep sigh of relief when the train finally arrived after an hour. I thought the overwhelming crowd might save me from this torment while Yappy prepared to board the same bogey as I did. Five minutes later, I found myself struggling with my briefcase in the middle of a compartment, the crowd still pushing from all directions, while Yappy gave me a big childish grin with an empty seat next to him. 'DAMN!', I thought.

Without waiting for a minute to let the crowd settle down, Yappy continued. Top of the mind recalls are: how Yappy had to continuously travel to visit his clients, how Yappy's boss cheated him and how he started his current business, how his brother lost his mind and started running naked on the streets, how his sister got married to her unreasonably ugly husband, how he found the love of his life, spent a fortune on her and her brother while dating her and eventually got ditched, how ill-cultured the generation has become, how he was so impressed by me being a teetotaller, vegetarian virgin (God knows what made him assume all this crap), how he set up the shop that his sister now runs, how he once caught a woman shoplifting, how the bitchy girl from his neighborhood flirted with guys and he helped her deliver love letters, how she slept with her boyfriends and eventually got married to a nice guy who must be foolishly assuming she was a virgin.......And a lot more. As my eyelids became heavier, my brain froze and my ear drums went numb; I yawned, pretended to fall asleep, talked (to give my ear drums a little rest), pressed random keys on my cellphone, even made a zombie-like expression; but he just babbled away to glory. By the time I got down at my destination and bid him goodbye with droopy eyes and exhausted ear drums and a significantly lower active brain cell count, the minute hand of my Esprit had almost completed 4 rounds of the dial. By now, I was well-versed with enough facts about Yappy to write his biography.

The incident reminded me of my elders telling me not to befriend strangers whenever I boarded any train. I believe them now and swear to always follow their advice while travelling.